Surely if Jesus were here in the flesh He’d turn His back on me saying, “Girl, there’s something seriously wrong with you.” Yes, that’s the lie that I believed along with many others. I lived in shame and walked with my head hung low. I felt defeated and angry at the myself and the world, until one day God opened my eyes to the biggest block standing between Him and I — me.
Yes, me and the condition of my heart and mind. I could hear the word, chew on the word, but I couldn’t swallow the word. My soul was starving for nourishment of the Father. I could see the word work in other’s lives but not in mine. Desperate for food, strong food, Godly food, I cried out to my Lord and He heard me.
Today, I no longer believe Jesus would turn His back to me but He did confirm that there was something wrong with me. Sin. Every time an ugly thought crept past my guard it would stick and those insignificant sins became a magnet for more sins. Then when I spoke the lie aloud it took root. Before I knew it, I was accepting lie after lie until I could no longer hear the truth of His word.
The enemy tried to steal the truth from me but Jesus called me out. He followed me whispering my name. With a word here, and scripture there, He planted reminders of His love, mercy, and forgiveness everywhere I went.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
God wants for us to run to Him when we’re faced with temptations or even after we’ve given in to sin. He waits for us to return to His forgiveness and His grace. The more I think on this, the more I’m convinced, that God wants us to hold our heads up and say, “I am a child of the Living God and He loves me.” And although I can do nothing on my own, I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.” That includes learning to run to Him, not from Him when I’ve messed up.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29: 11 NIV
Although God calls us to be humble, not proud, or arrogant, He isn’t looking for us to walk around dejected or defeated either. When we embrace His forgiveness we are freed from condemnation. Do we stop striving to be holy and sinless? Of course not, in fact He’s called us be holy. He desires an intimate relationship with us where we can say with confidence, “I am His sheep, I know His voice, and He has called me by my name.”
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27
Do you desire to hear Jesus’ voice?
Read His word, listen to His word, meditate on His word daily. Even if you’ve been a Christian for 100 years His word is how you’ll know His voice when He calls you.